Book 103 - A Year of Magical Learning

Reflection Title – What would it be like if I stopped caring about winning or losing?

Book – Winning Ugly: Mental Warfare in Tennis – Lessons from a Master by Brad Gilbert.  

Book Description: A former Olympic medalist and now one of ESPN’s most respected analysts, Brad Gilbert shares his timeless tricks and tips, including “some real gems” (Tennis magazine) to help both recreational and professional players improve their game. In the new introduction to this third edition, Gilbert uses his inside access to analyze current stars such as Serena Williams and Rafael Nadal, showing readers how to beat better players without playing better tennis. Written with clarity and wit, this classic combat manual for the tennis court has become the bible of tennis instruction books for countless players worldwide.

Reflection:

I can say that I don’t care about the results of my work these days, but that would be a lie.

What is true, is that I care a lot less about the results of my work these days than I used to, and I’m working really hard to detach further from the results.

I’m still not perfect in this area of my life, but I’m trying.

Deep down inside I still want to win, and I know it. It seems like I can’t turn it off sometimes. I feel it in my gut, the anxiety levels jump, my emotions go wild, and my head starts racing toward best- and worst-case scenarios.

I’ve spent a lifetime of trying to win and being told that winning matters, results matter, etc. Our culture demonstrates that time and time again with who we hold up on a pedestal and champion. As Ricky Bobby famously said, “If you ain’t first, you’re last!” There is a reason why I picked up a book called, Winning Ugly…because I secretly still want to win deep in my core, and I wanted to learn from any source I could to get that edge. Who cares how you win, as long as you do…right? Winning Ugly is still winning at the end of the day and that is all that matters. Wrong! I’m in the process of trying to flip this statement around on its head.

I DO CARE about the how I go about my work these days. I DO CARE about how I win or lose these days. I care mostly about feeling good answering the question to myself of, “Did I live up to my values today while producing the work I did?” That is my version of winning at this point in my life.

Did I play the match with integrity? Did I challenge myself? Did I never give up? Did I learn something new? Did I enter and exit the match with humility? Did I seek help? Did I stay emotionally balanced and maintain control? Did I have some damn fun?

Answering yes to these questions is the only outcome that I should strive for when performing my work these days.

I know I will feel fulfilled walking off a tennis court, out of a boardroom, or walking away from my keyboard if I know I lived up to the values I hold closest to me. Living my values is what I call winning these days, and I’ve never felt more happy and fulfilled.

Question: What’s more important to you, the outcome or how you go about your work?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - Winning Ugly

YOML Bookstore - Winning Ugly: Mental Warfare in Tennis – Lessons from a Master by Brad Gilbert