Book 120 - A Year of Magical Learning

Reflection Title: “If you bring forth what is inside of you, what you bring forth will save you”

Book – Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

Book Description: For a quarter century, more than a million readers—scribes and scribblers of all ages and abilities—have been inspired by Anne Lamott’s hilarious, big-hearted, homespun advice. Advice that begins with the simple words of wisdom passed down from Anne’s father—also a writer—in the iconic passage that gives the book its title: “Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.’”

Reflection:

What a great little book, and I’m so happy I took this journey with Anne. It felt like I was sitting in her writing class, and she was talking directly to me the whole time. This is the exact reason why I love books in a lot of ways. I can sit there, shut up, and just listen to the author tell their story and share what is inside of them. I’m forced to hear them out with no chance of a rebuttal in the moment.

I’m still a work in progress and not great at the “just shut up and listen” in the real world unfortunately just yet. I love to talk…a lot. It’s a problem, but books give me the time to just shut up and listen. It is so freeing and liberating for me to not have to feel like I need to compulsively talk when I’m consuming a book and someone else’s thoughts.  

As for the reflection, the easy way out for this book would be to simply talk about the concept of taking life “Bird by Bird”. That is a great way to remember to always just take the next step. Focus on what is in front of you and don’t get overwhelmed with worrying about climbing the whole mountain at once. Bird by Bird is a great way to break it down on how you get started and keep going. The meaning behind the words “Bird by Bird” will change countless people’s lives…just not mine.

As you can see if you are following along with this journey, I don’t have any problems about living life Bird by Bird anymore. Infused with the power of the why gifted to me by my daughter, I’m on a purpose driven mission to live for 2 in all I do. I wake up every day ready to tackle the next bird and life is a blast.

Bird by Bird is not what I want to write about as a reflection for this beautiful short story on writing and life. What I do want to write about is a quote Anne used from Jesus in sharing about why writing is so important and special in her mind. I felt like this quote was talking directly to me and I can’t get out of my head.

She quoted Jesus from the Gospel of Thomas saying, “If you bring forth what is inside of you, what you bring forth will save you. If you don’t bring forth what is inside of you, what you don’t bring forth will destroy you.”

Bringing forth what is inside of you is why writing matters!!!!

Hearing this quote almost makes me want to cry thinking about my own journey with writing over the past few years since Emilia passed away. My family went through A LOT! From having my daughter born at 22 weeks and spending 39 days in the NICU fighting for her life only to sadly lose our battle to get her home safe while being forced to watch her take her last breath while your wife is holding her in her arms. To dealing with all the pain, heartache, and fall out that comes from losing a child. To 11 months later finding ourselves back in the NICU now with our son being born at 28 weeks old and spending 92 days in the NICU before thankfully getting him home safe and sound. To dealing with all of this while the world was going through a pandemic.

Needless to say…it was a lot.

I had a lot of things going on inside my head, and still do. I needed to do what I do best and TALK! Writing was my way to bring those thoughts out into the world.

When Emilia was born, I started writing to her in a journal. I don’t know why, but I did. I’ve never stopped since that first day that I began typing on my Evernote app sitting next to her in the NICU on March 15th, 2020. Slowly, and “bird by bird”, that journal turned into a 400-page book where I was able to share Emilia’s courageous story with the world and talk about my own quest to find purpose and meaning in my life again after losing a child. Now, the journal and writing to Emilia lives on in a new project that you are reading right now.

Turns out, I have a lot to say and bringing it out in this world did save me in a lot of ways. Without writing and having a way to get what was going on in my head out into the world, I honestly don’t know where I’d be at this point in my life. What we went through was terrifying. To be sitting here feeling happier and more fulfilled than I’ve ever felt in my life while typing these words says it all. Writing did that for me in a lot of ways. It actually terrifies me to think about living with all of that stuck in my mind and no way to share it with anyone in the world.

Through writing, I’ve found a way to stay connected with my daughter, to find purpose for myself, define my values, and to share my family’s unique story with the world. Sharing through writing has saved me. If I hadn’t, I truly think my thoughts would have destroyed me.

Bring forth what is inside of you and share it with the world…I promise it will be worth it!

Question: What’s stopping you from bringing forth what’s inside of you to share with the world?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon

YOML Bookstore - Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott