Book 157 - A Year of Magical Learning

Reflection Title: Hi Sully, Thanks for the Visit!

Book – The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual by Ward Farnsworth

Book Description:

See more clearly, live more wisely, and bear the burdens of this life with greater ease―here are the greatest insights of the Stoics, in their own words. Presented in twelve lessons, Ward Farnsworth systematically presents the heart of Stoic philosophy accompanied by commentary that is clear and concise.

A foundational idea to Stoicism is that we appear to go through life reacting directly to events. That appearance is an illusion. We react to our judgments and opinions―to our thoughts about things, not to things themselves. Stoics seek to become conscious of those judgments, to find the irrationality in them, and to choose them more carefully.

Reflection:

I think I’m finally starting to understand the idea of Stoicism and how to apply it to my life.

Before this journey began, I didn’t know much about the philosophy of Stoicism. I still don’t know much, but I’m learning. Before I learned anything about Stoics, I used to imagine practitioners as emotionless people that strived to remain constant in all they do. If you google the word Stoicism it returns a similar definition, “the endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint.” I don’t know about you, but that definition makes practitioners of this philosophy sound miserable. It makes it seem like they must all seemingly walk through life hanging on to the perpetual thought and preparing for how they will react when the worst moments of their lives occur so they can remain calm I guess. What do they do the rest of their lives? Are you allowed to feel joy, happiness, love, and the good emotions and still practice Stoicism?

The more I’ve dug into Stoicism, read books like The Practicing Stoic, Meditations, and The Daily Stoic, the more I’m finally starting to understand what is really at the heart of this practice and how to apply it to my life. To me, Stoicism isn’t about denying emotions, it is about embracing and recognizing them. Once you embrace your emotions and acknowledge their existence, you then have the freedom to choose how you want to react to them with your rational mind if you so choose. That goes for all emotions, good and bad, happy and sad times, etc. To me, that is the heart of Stoicism, greeting all of your emotions at the door and deciding if you want to let them in your home or not.

Recently, I’ve started to try and play a little game with myself when I feel a wave of a certain kind of emotion consuming me. Whether it be frustration at work, exhaustion from chasing children, anger at my wife for not putting her clothes away, etc. When I feel that wave coming on, in my mind I pretend that someone is knocking on my front door. I go and open it up and I see a monster there waiting. The monster I keep seeing in my mind is Sully from the movie Monsters Inc. He knocks on the door and I hear a calm John Goodman voice saying, “Hi, I’m your anger. How are you? Can I come in?” I then have the ability to decide whether or not it is worth it to let Sully in. If I just want to rage, “Okay Sully, come on in and let’s go smash a few vases”. If I decide it isn’t worth it, I thank Sully for his visit and tell him I’ll see him later. Visualizing this process in my mind has actually been a lot of fun.

To me, this is exactly how Stoicism should work and can be applied in your life every day, and not just in your worst moments.

My goal is to try and make up some more monsters that respond to other emotions like love, pain, sadness, happiness, success, failure, stress, anxiety, etc. I’ll build my own networks of monsters that can come anytime they want, but I’ll be the one that decides if I let them in to my house and what we do during their stay.

Emotions are an important part of life. We shouldn’t focus on denying our emotions; rather, meet them at your front door and decide whether they are welcome in your home.

Question: What creative ways do you deploy to manage your emotions?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon

YOML Bookstore - The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual by Ward Farnsworth