Book 209 - A Year of Magical Learning (2/2)

Reflection Title: Tidying Your Values!

Book – The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo (Part 2 / 2)

Book Description:

Despite constant efforts to declutter your home, do papers still accumulate like snowdrifts and clothes pile up like a tangled mess of noodles?

Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes tidying to a whole new level, promising that if you properly simplify and organize your home once, you’ll never have to do it again. Most methods advocate a room-by-room or little-by-little approach, which doom you to pick away at your piles of stuff forever. The KonMari Method, with its revolutionary category-by-category system, leads to lasting results. In fact, none of Kondo’s clients have lapsed (and she still has a three-month waiting list).

With detailed guidance for determining which items in your house “spark joy” (and which don’t), this international bestseller will help you clear your clutter and enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home—and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.

Reflection:

Does this Spark Joy?

That is the question that Marie asks her clients when they are tidying and evaluating whether and item still holds value and belongs in their life. If it doesn’t “spark joy”…it’s time to go.

Deciding what deserves to stay or go in your life can become a surprising complex decision making process sometimes when you let your rational brain take control of the wheel. Do I really need those 2 sleds we bought during that snowstorm a decade ago still and haven’t used since? Well, we have children now and they may want to go out and play in the snow in the future when they are old enough to sled. Also, whenever the next big snowstorm comes there will be a run on sleds at the store when demand spikes during these times. If we pitch these sleds now then we probably won’t be able to get a new sled on the off chance when we might want to randomly go sledding someday.

When the rational brain is involved, there are a lot more things to consider than one might think on the surface and decisions will always be more complex.

That is why this simple question of “Does this Spark Joy” is so effective because it takes your brain out of the equation and lets you connect with your feelings for once.

Your elephant (ie your emotions) instinctually knows when something sparks joy in your life or not instantaneously. You know it when you feel it. For whatever reason when you pick up that item it will spark a feeling like providing safety from childhood, excitement from a big moment in life, or remind you of a time you had so much fun with a group of friends. Deep down inside you will feel happy, content, and energized. When that feeling comes…the object stays.

If it doesn’t…you know what to do! Pitch it or give it away.

I feel like deciding on your core values should follow a similar process. Ask the question, "Do My Values Spark Joy" and then see how your elephant reacts.

Everyone should have the right to choose to value things that are a spark of joy and not misery. So often that isn’t the case.

I feel like so many of us try to get our rational brain involved when selecting our values, and that is a big mistake. Your rational brain will strategically select what you value in your life based off of what society, our careers, and the cultures we belong to tells us is important. Why wouldn’t it? Your rational brain is trying to make sure you are safe, protected, consistent, and have a clear path toward a successful future. So, it picks values that align with that life. It happens to almost all of us, but sadly no one ever teaches us the “does this spark joy” methodology when we are young when deciding on how we want to live our lives.

As we’ve learned in past reflections, if you don’t choose the cultures you belong to, they will choose you.

I work in software sales and the tech bro culture of work hard / play hard, grit, and grind is real. It is easy to think that if you want to succeed in that world that you need to adopt these similar values. I know that is exactly what I did. My brain took a look around at the people having the most success and said, “If I want to get there, then this must be the process I have to follow.” So, that’s what I tried to do. I adopted those values and corresponding actions as my own. Before you know it, this is who you are, like it or not. If you are anything like me, one day you wake up way down the road and you see that your room is full of a metaphorical clutter of all kinds of different values that you picked up along the way and realizing that these no longer / never did “Spark Joy” in our lives.

Well, that doesn’t have to be true!

Just like we can tidy our house and all of our belongings, we can do the same thing with our life by tidying our values. Take a good hard look at what your actions each day say you value. Write it down, and then ask, “Does this Value Spark Joy?”.

Your elephant will immediately tell you the answer and you’ll know what to do from there.

Question: Are your values sparking joy in your life?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon

YOML Bookstore - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo