Book 212 - A Year of Magical Learning (Part 1/5)
- cmsears8384
- Aug 14, 2022
- 4 min read
Reflection Title: The Adversity Hypothesis
Book – The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom by Jonathon Haidt (Part 1/5)
Book Description: The Happiness Hypothesis is a book about ten Great Ideas. Each chapter is an attempt to savor one idea that has been discovered by several of the world's civilizations—to question it in light of what we now know from scientific research, and to extract from it the lessons that still apply to our modern lives and illuminate the causes of human flourishing. Award-winning psychologist Jonathan Haidt shows how a deeper understanding of the world's philosophical wisdom and its enduring maxims—like "do unto others as you would have others do unto you," or "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"—can enrich and transform our lives.
Reflection:
The Happiness Hypothesis is another of my top 5 favorite books I’ve consumed on this journey to date. I loved every minute of it.
Some books just come at exactly the right time and place in one’s life, and this was one of them for me. The Happiness Hypothesis found me at just the perfect time on this journey about 4 or 5 months after Emilia had passed away as I could slowly feel myself shaking off the soot from the blast and finding the first few tracks Emilia had left for me to follow on the mission that will define the rest of my existence.
This book was recommended to me out of the blue by my hair stylist, Marta, one day during our regular appointments. Marta has become an unexpectedly great source of a handful of amazing recommendations for books on this journey, but The Happiness Hypothesis was her greatest gift to date. As with all things in life once the compound effect is in motion, you never know where it will take you, my evolving conversations with Marta were no different. For context. I don’t think Marta and I had ever even discussed once a book, learnings, or deeper topics on life and happiness at all in the prior 10 years of our relationship to this moment a few months after Emilia had passed. However, now we often found ourselves discussing some of the latest books I was reading and things I was learning which led to some amazing dialogues. I think Marta could sense something was changing in me, as could I, so she shared a book that she had read and really enjoyed around similar topics that we were discussing called The Happiness Hypothesis.
As soon as I left the salon that day, I downloaded the book and made it my next read. Shocker…I loved it! This book spurred on so many new thoughts while simultaneously helping me to add to and refine existing thoughts that I had been writing about and journaling to Emilia for the previous few months. I was in learning heaven, and I can’t wait to share a few with you all on this journey. I’ve decided to make this another 5-part reflection in homage to all the amazing new lessons and knowledge this book aided to my journey.
The lesson that I wanted to share first that personally hit me the hardest was the author’s section on adversity and how it relates into the Happiness Hypothesis equation. The author took a deep dive into adversity, trauma, and pain and how it can impact people’s future outlooks in life as it relates to happiness and fulfillment. He called it this section his adversity hypothesis. Here is my best attempt to sum up what the Adversity Hypothesis is per the author, “people need adversity, setbacks, and perhaps even trauma to reach the highest levels of strength, fulfillment, and personal development.” The author then went on to detail study after study that shows the power that adversity can have to set a new course and become a change agent in one’s life if you let it.
However, adversity is fickle.
While it can have the power to propel you forward in “posttraumatic growth”, it also has the ability to stop you cold in your tracks and wreak havoc in your life. The difference between the 2 paths appears to come down to what you do immediately following a traumatic event that sets the course in motion for how adversity will play into your future happiness and fulfillment, or lack thereof.
The author talked about how studies show that there is a small window of time, within the first few months after a traumatic event, that a new course must be set, and new habits formed if adversity is to be truly harnessed to “bounce forward”. This is done through learning, questioning, reflecting, and acting systematically until the new path or emerges and a new course is chartered.
Sound familiar to anyone? Me too!
Magically, that is exactly the process I had accidentally been following since the day that Emilia passed away that is now affectionately called The Year of Magical Learning.
It was in this moment reading this section that I couldn’t help but to be even more thankful for the blessing that is my beautiful daughter, Emilia Quinn Sears. While I didn’t know what to do after Emilia passed away, she clearly did. We all went through hell together in her short life, but like all things, she somehow instinctually always knew exactly what to do in life and apparently even in death.
How can someone be so wise and only be 39 days old? Her wisdom never ceases to amaze me!
Emilia left me with that first track to follow and chase her for the rest of my life which was the memory of her ability to fight and endure. That got me out of bed that first morning after she passed away and drove me to force myself to move and take one tiny step forward toward the future even if it hurt so much knowing that it wouldn’t be with her physically in my life.
1 day and new step forward turned into 2, which now is 776 and counting.
Each day I take a step forward toward the tracks that Emilia continues to leave in my life, I grow stronger, more fulfilled, and dare I say…happier?
I haven’t stopped moving since the day she left us and have no plans to do so until the day I die!
Question: How has adversity impacted the happiness equation in your life?
Links:
What is The Year of Magical Learning? - An Introduction
YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon
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