Book 260 - A Year of Magical Learning (2/5)

Reflection Title: SPOT. STOP. SWAP!

Book – Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day by Jay Shetty (Part 2 of 5)

Book Description: Jay Shetty, social media superstar and host of the #1 podcast On Purpose, distills the timeless wisdom he learned as a monk into practical steps anyone can take every day to live a less anxious, more meaningful life.

In this inspiring, empowering book, Shetty draws on his time as a monk to show us how we can clear the roadblocks to our potential and power. Combining ancient wisdom and his own rich experiences in the ashram, Think Like a Monk reveals how to overcome negative thoughts and habits, and access the calm and purpose that lie within all of us. He transforms abstract lessons into advice and exercises we can all apply to reduce stress, improve relationships, and give the gifts we find in ourselves to the world. Shetty proves that everyone can—and should—think like a monk.

Reflection:

Our elephants are incredible beasts, but sometimes we do dumb stuff on autopilot and our rider has no idea, case in point with negative thoughts, noticing the negative, and complaining.

Our elephants have been fine-tuned since time began to be critical of the world around them to ensure our survival. That means that our antennas are always perked up by default looking to spot the bad in this world and whatever looks out of place in as much as we can. That critical lens may have given us a chance at life, but sometimes it makes living suck when all we see, think, and say has a negative connotation.

We all have flaws, and I’m certainly no angel. Whenever I’m in a really crappy mode, I bitch, moan, and complain constantly. I’m miserable to be around and I feel sorry for whoever walks in my path on those particular days. On these days when I’m on the war path, the absolute dumbest things are what trigger my complaints. I mean like dumb things, like someone leaving laundry in the washer when I’m trying to put a load in. If it is one of those days, before I even know it, I find myself in a complaint tornado and the negative thoughts are flying fast and furiously. Once I crack the seal, my eyes are only looking for negative. My #1 trigger seems to be coming across clutter or stuff not in the right place in my home. I don’t know what it is, but it drives me nuts and I compulsively make my displeasure known to whomever is closest to me.

Sadly, most the time that burden falls on my wife, Felicia.

She doesn’t deserve that! My wife is currently working her butt off doing her meaningful work to honor our daughter and launching a charter school here in Indianapolis. She is gone 11 hours a day, working 2 different jobs at the school, then comes home to do her best to parent Luca, and then lesson plans until 12 o’clock as she is filling in for a teacher they can’t afford yet. SHE HAS NO TIME FOR MY NEGATIVITY…PERIOD!

Sadly, I can’t seem to stop my elephant sometimes and my complaints and negativity naturally trigger her elephant to complain and be negative toward me and that is when the tornado picks up speed. As the author states, “complaining is contagious”. He is so right on that one. When my elephant is on a war path looking for things to complain about, everyone else around me magically gets just a little more unhappy as well. This downward spiral usually leads to some dumb fight and gets us nowhere.

This stops now!

My rider is officially ready to take the reins and spend time helping to guide my elephant away from the negative tornado and find a path toward lifting others around me up, versus tearing them down when I’m a little off.

How are we going to do this, by following the author’s advice and SPOT, STOP, and SWAP!

What is Spot, Stop, and Swap? This is the author’s methodology to retrain your elephant to systematically spot, stop, and then swap negative thoughts with more uplifting and positive outlooks on life.

Spot the Thought

Stop the Thought

Swap the Thought

This is the perfect time to try this one out as we enter a new month and I’m looking for my new monthly challenge.

I think I just found it!

My plan for the next 30 days is to do my best whenever I feel a negative complaint about something my wife did or didn’t do coming on to spot it immediately and make my elephant aware that it is happening. Then, I’m going to allow my rider to take control and shut that thought down completely. I’m not going to stop there; I’m going to swap it for a kind thought about my wife and share it out loud if she is around or write it down in my journal to share later.

This one is going to be epic! I’ll keep you posted on the results.

PS – I informed my wife of my challenge and she has graciously agreed to be my accountabilibuddy for this challenge and call me out anytime I’m not living up to my word. This should be fun!

Question: Want to take the Spot, Stop, Swap Challenge with me?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon

YOML Bookstore - Think Like a Monk