Book 264 - A Year of Magical Learning

Reflection Title: Don’t Forget to Tell Your Elephant Great Job Every Once in a While!

Book – Pickleball and the Art of Living: The Power of Positive Dinking by Mike Branon

Book Description:

Free yourself from self-doubt and take on the joyful challenge of bringing your best, happiest self out to play every day. A funny and wise approach to Pickleball instruction, Pickleball & The Art of Living invites you to actually enjoy the process of improvement in your Pickleball playing and personal growth. Find yourself noticing and appreciating more than ever before with a growth mindset that improves performance and well-being.

Reflection:

As you may have discovered if you’ve been following along with me on this journey, I am a lifelong tennis player and fanatic. My first memory of picking up a racquet was sometime around 5 years of age when I had my first lesson at a NJTL (National Junior Tennis League) clinic. I haven’t stopped playing since, minus a few years after college when I was heads down focused on “my career” and forget to remember that life is not all about work.

I’ve written a lot about lessons I’ve learned on this adventure and how I’ve applied them to my tennis game whether they be from tennis specific books or just random books that I found a way to apply to that passion. Tennis reflects so many values I hold dear to my core and it is my intention to continue to play tennis until I’m forced to stop, whenever and however that occurs.

With that said, my meaningful work (what I define as any activity that I get to express a lot of my values) antenna has been aroused recently by a new game called Pickleball. I don’t know what it is about Pickleball, but there is something I really feel like I can love there. Whether it be the style of the game in its similarities to tennis, the interesting collection of people it attracts, how easy it is to play with anyone regardless of skill level or experience, or just having a blast when I’m out playing…Pickleball has my attention. I won’t go as far to say that I am a pickleball player just yet, but it is trending that way.

Here's a great example - I recently took a trip down to Tampa to visit one of my best friends on our annual dude’s trip and we were planning out what we wanted to do this year. He said, “Want to go play a round of golf?” I started to say yes, because that is what we always do. Then I stopped and said, “You know what…I want to play some pickleball! You In?” Normally we always play golf, but I secretly have always hated that game. I tried to make myself like it, but I just don’t. Being the great friend that he is, he said that even though he has never played he’d be happy to as long as I brought some paddles down with me. That is exactly what I did and we had a blast.

So that is how we find ourselves with a book here all about the weirdest sport ever called Pickleball and the Art of Living. Again, learning reflects your values and values guide your learning. What we learn and do is who we are! Apparently, I just might be a pickleball player after all.

The lesson I learned most from this book was an incredible reminder to be more mindful about when things go right!

I’m so bad at this on the pickleball court, tennis court, and life in general. I hold myself to a high standard and it is my expectation that team Chris will be able to do whatever I know we are capable of doing when I’m performing any activity. If I don’t do it correct, my rider definitely has zero problems pointing out to my elephant how much we suck and demand that we do it better. I yell to myself, “Come on Chris...FOCUS! You can’t miss shots like that! What are you doing!” I’m so bad at this negative self-talk that I’ve spent an incredible amount of time on this journey trying to correct that exact issues. I’ve been using all I have been learning to try and detach myself from outcomes, to be at peace in the moment, and to just have some damn fun in life.

Ironically, for all the time I spend negatively self-talking and then trying to train myself to positively self-talk to counteract my negative talk, I always forget to celebrate when my elephant does exactly what we wanted it to do in the first place. This thought hit me like a ton of bricks as the author, Mike, was describing how it often we never acknowledge when things go “right” out on the court and to be more mindful and aware of when good things happen.

Whether it be blasting a forehand 85 mph up the line just out of the reach of my opponent to win a point in tennis, hitting a perfectly placed 3rd shot dink from behind the baseline to reset a point, or anything else in life, I realized that I NEVER EVER TELL MY ELEPHANT GREAT JOB! EVER!

I can’t think of a single time in any professional meeting, tennis match, pickleball match, parenting, husbanding, friending experience that I in the moment said to my elephant, “Great Work, I’m really impressed!”.

That blows my mind, and needs to change ASAP!

As a matter of fact, a day after I finished this book, I just so happen to be playing an epic 3 set match in the quarterfinals of our summer league tournament. The match was against a great opponent and we had already played 2 times in the regular season of the challenge ladder. I had lost both matches in a tiebreaker in the 3rd set. They were about as close as you could get and we both knew we were in for another epic match. We didn’t disappoint.

We played a 3 and half hour 3 set match that day. I was up 6-5 in the 3rd set and serving for the match. We were both gassed, exhausted, and ready for this to be over. These are the exact moments when you need to relax and have fun the most. I looked up at the sky and literally said to myself in my head, “These are the matches that you play tennis for. Soak it all in. Enjoy the sweat in your eyes, your shoulder throbbing, the sun beating down on you, and being outside on this beautiful day.” I gave myself permission to lose if that is what happens. I felt my body relax and I hit a great first serve that set me up for a chance at a quick put away. I could literally feel how loose my arm felt as I smacked a forehand winner exactly where I wanted it to go.

I stopped before my next serve to acknowledge to my elephant how awesome that was, and it felt really good. We did it again the next 3 points and I won the game at love with hitting 2 winners and forcing some hard shots on his end.

That last game felt better than winning, because it was everything I want my life to feel like. I didn’t care about the outcome and I was fully in the moment. I was happy, thankful, and appreciative of the work my elephant was doing.

I’ll bring that feeling to the Pickleball court, and everything else I do, hopefully very soon.

Thanks, Mike, for the great reminder to be more mindful when things go right!

Question: Are you giving yourself some time to enjoy the moment when things go right in your life?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon

YOML Bookstore - Pickleball & The Art of Living