Book 313 - A Year of Magical Learning

Reflection Title: Don’t Listen to Karen!

Book – You Can’t Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have To Explain by Phoebe Robinson

Book Description:

A hilarious and timely essay collection about race, gender, and pop culture from comedy superstar and 2 Dope Queens podcaster Phoebe Robinson Being a black woman in America means contending with old prejudices and fresh absurdities every day. Comedian Phoebe Robinson has experienced her fair share over the years: she's been unceremoniously relegated to the role of “the black friend,” as if she is somehow the authority on all things racial; she's been questioned about her love of U2 and Billy Joel (“isn’t that...white people music?”); she's been called “uppity” for having an opinion in the workplace; she's been followed around stores by security guards; and yes, people do ask her whether they can touch her hair all. the. time. Now, she's ready to take these topics to the page—and she’s going to make you laugh as she’s doing it.

As personal as it is political, You Can't Touch My Hair examines our cultural climate and skewers our biases with humor and heart, announcing Robinson as a writer on the rise.

Reflection:

Phoebe Robinson is hilarious!

My wife and I really enjoyed taking this journey with Phoebe, and I appreciate her sharing her unique lived experiences while making us laugh out loud the whole time. As a white dude, it was interesting to spend a few hours with a black woman walking us through her lived experience. While I can’t personally relate with most of the topics covered in this book, I still learned a lot along the way which is the point of this journey.

Phoebe and I may not have had a ton in common from a lived experience standpoint; however, we did have a ton in common when it came to her humor, her love of writing, and her desire to share with the world. And in that, is where I found my one big thing that I will remember from your story to carry forward….DON’T LISTEN TO KAREN!

When Phoebe first started writing her blog called Blaria, Black Daria (which is a hilarious name), she was having a blast and was really proud of her work. She was putting herself out there into this world and bringing forth what was inside of her for all to see. Most importantly, she was doing what she loved to do and was what I like to call “beavering on purpose!”

Phoebe didn’t know where the blog was taking her, but she could see it leading to something bigger in the future. Maybe, even an opportunity to write her own book someday which was her dream.

After her 12th blog post, she had a lunch meeting with her manager, a white woman named Karen (yes Karen). Phoebe asked Karen if she had seen her blog and if she had any feedback? Karen responded unenthusiastically and said, “Um, you’re not really famous so I don’t think that is where you should spend your time. We should focus on something else” and then changed the topic.

Karen, doing what Karen’s do best, tried to shut Phoebe down and to do her best to keep her in line with the rest of the masses. You can’t fault her because she was just doing her job. Karen’s are strategically sent to let you know that you are veering off the path of the established and accepted cultural norms in which society feels is best for you. Karen’s don’t care about you, your art, or encouraging you to bring your unique self out in this world through your values. Karen’s are culture police and will do anything they can to stop you if you step out of line to show your individuality. Basically, Karen’s suck!

BTW - If you don’t get the humor in all of this, go to urban dictionary and type in the word Karen and you will understand.

Can you imagine if a deer named Karen wondered down to a creek one day and unprovoked told a beaver named Carl, “Um…your dam is stupid! No one in this forest cares about what you are doing. Your dam is going to get your nowhere. I’ve seen so many dams built over the years, and they just get destroyed every spring. It is a waste of your time. I think you should stop damming and become a berry farmer. Berry farming is hard work, but I know that everyone wants more berries and there will always be a market. I have a friend down at the berry factory that can get you a job if you want it.”

That scenario sounds ridiculous because it is. We all know that Carl would say no in an instant because a beaver must dam! That is its purpose. It doesn’t care what the deer says, and neither should you.

If you’ve found a way to express yourself that makes you feel alive, keep on damming until you can no longer dam. Who knows what you may create someday, but I can guarantee you will enjoy the hell out of the process along the way.

Karen’s are destroyers of dams…DON’T LISTEN TO KAREN!

Luckily for us, Phoebe didn’t listen to Karen and kept on beavering, and we get to see the result of the awesome dam that she built with You Can’t Touch My Hair.

Nice Try Karen!

Question: How can you block out the noise and stay focused on your purpose?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon

YOML Bookstore - You Can't Touch My Hair by Phoebe Robinson