Reflection Title: Are you sure?
Book – The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck (Part 2 of 3)
Book Description:
Inspired by The Divine Comedy, Beck uses Dante’s classic hero’s journey as a framework to break down the process of attaining personal integrity into small, manageable steps. She shows how to read our internal signals that lead us towards our true path, and to recognize what we actually yearn for versus what our culture sells us. With techniques tested on hundreds of her clients, Beck brings her expertise as a social scientist, life coach and human being to help readers to uncover what integrity looks like in their own lives. She takes us on a spiritual adventure that not only will change the direction of our lives, but also bring us to a place of genuine happiness.
Reflection:
Are you sure?
I mean, really, really, really sure where you have 100% no doubt in your mind about something?
If you can answer yes to this question, about whatever you are inquiring about, then you are well on your path to integrity.
Think about some of the people you admire most in this world, why do you admire them? Is it because deep down you know they are sure about something? You know they aren’t sure about everything, but they are definitely sure about something!
Who comes to mind for you? Personally, when I think of people that are 100% sure, I think of my Mom and her mother, my Granny. Those 2 are SURE that God exists. I’ve watched both of them be challenged of this belief by external influences for my entire life. They have been barraged with doubters and circumstances that could have easily thrown them off their path if they didn’t really believe. I can tell you that nothing has succeeded in putting a dent in that rock solid answer of “yes” to the are you sure question. If anything, each challenge to their “yes” seems to only make the yes stronger as time goes on.
Being around people that who can emphatically answer “yes” to this question is a site to behold. It draws you in, whether you like it or not. We love to be around people that know where they are going and how they will get there. Secretly, we crave the ability to answer yes to the same question in our own lives about something.
How do they do it? How do they always respond with a yes to this “are you sure” question? Where does that conviction come from? How is it possible to develop such strong beliefs in this world of make believe?
Well, I’m happy to let you in on the secret, that isn’t a secret at all. In fact, this secret has been leveraged by humans throughout antiquity and major institutions and organizations are formed around this non-secret, secret.
Ready for it…stop, think, and reflect each day! That’s It!
Some call this praying, others call it meditation, even others might call it something else, but all anyone is doing checking in with their thoughts and making what the author calls a 1 degree turn toward their integrity.
It is through this process that I myself have been able to make my 1 degree turns each morning with my daughter through our writing and reflection to find our own emphatic “YES” answers to the are you sure question.
My personal question that I asked one morning a few months after Emilia had passed away was, “Are you sure that she is no longer with you? Can you absolutely say that you and your daughter can no longer have a relationship together because she isn’t physically here next to you every day? Is there no way that you can find a way to stay connected?”
The answer to that question was I’m not sure.
That I’m not sure, led me down this path where I ultimately discovered that I can still have a fulfilling relationship with my daughter each and every day if I so choose. That led us to a lot of conversations each morning at the keyboard as we thought and shared our thoughts. That led us ultimately to our answer of Yes, I can still have a meaningful relationship with Emilia through our shared purpose of living for 2. That led us to the exact words that you are reading right now in this (future) book.
See, the answer is yes, I can still have a relationship with Emilia even if she is not here. You can call me crazy, but I don’t care. We’ve spent years building up this idea together and we have a lifetime more to go. The longer this goes, the more I can guarantee you that we are not turning back.
That is how you end up like my Mom and Granny. I finally figured it out.
Question: What areas of your life are you able to emphatically answer “Yes” to the “Are You Sure” Question?

Links:
What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction
YOML Podcast Discussion - Coming Soon
YOML Bookstore - The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck
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