Book 71 - A Year of Magical Learning

Reflection Title - Learning and Understanding are NOT the same thing!

Book - On Becoming Babywise: Giving your infant the gift of nighttime sleep by Dr. Robert Bucknam and co-author Gary Ezzo

Book Description: For 30 years, On Becoming Babywise has been the de facto newborn parenting manual for naturally synchronizing your baby's feeding time, waketime, and nighttime sleep cycles, so the whole family can sleep through the night. In his fourth decade as a licensed pediatrician, Dr. Robert Bucknam, along with co-author Gary Ezzo, demonstrates how order and stability are mutual allies of every newborn's metabolism, and how parents can take advantage of these biological propensities. In particular, they note how an infant's body responds to the influences of parental routine or the lack thereof. Early chapters start with explorations of everyday aspects of infant management, such as the three basic elements of daytime activities for newborns: feeding time, waketime, and naptime. Practical discussions then focus on broad and niche topics including feeding philosophies, baby sleep problems, baby scheduling challenges, nap routines, sleep training multiples, baby sleeping props, colic and reflux, and many other dimensions which impact breastfeeding schedules, bottle feeding tips, and baby sleeping training.

Reflection:

I've been referred to many a times by past trainer's and coaches as a "wing it wonder". Meaning, I don't love a lot of prep or studying before getting my hands dirty and learning as I perform. I learn by doing. I just dive in and see what happens. That has always been my go to form of learning. I know I could do more, but it has always produced effective results so I didn't care to incorporate other elements.

With my first born child, Emilia, I took my traditional learning approach. I figured I would figure it out when she got here and it would all work out like it always does. I didn't do any prep at all despite my wife's constant pleas. I didn't read anything, seek any council from experts, going to any training courses, consult other parents, etc. After she was born, I immensely regretted that decision. Not because I needed the books or knowledge, because I should have respected my wife's wishes and my child's wellbeing more than to try and "wing it" on the most precious duty we have as humans in raising children in this world. After we tragically lost Emilia, I learned just how sacred and important the role of being a parent and bringing a child into this world truly is.

With baby #2 on the way and my year of magical learning project ongoing, I figured I'd try to do this the right way and pick up a few books this time in preparation. A friend of mine recommended the book, On Becoming Babywise. I bought it and Felicia and I read this one together in preparation of our new bundle of joy's arrival. As we were going through this book, it was a lot to take in to be honest and confused the hell out of us. It left Felicia and I with more questions than answers once we finished the book a few months before Luca's arrival. We were arguing back and forth about how what parenting methods, schedules, and cadences were going to be most effective.

The truth is, neither of us really had any idea. It wasn't until Luca arrived and having to actively parent each day did I finally start to become a little more "Babywise". However, once we did start to act and get the feedback from our activities, I did start to recall a few of the lessons I learned in this book and it helped us with an extra little nudge when we got a little lost. Also, we got 92 days in the NICU of watching and asking expert child care givers all the questions we could dream up as we prepared to get baby Luca home. By the time we finally made it home with Luca and we were officially on our own, I'm glad to report that I was finally Babywise and ready to take on this amazing challenge called parenting.

The key lesson I learned is that learning will never be the same as understanding. We can learn from a book, we can learn from observing experts in action and asking questions, we can learn from getting our hands dirty and trying it out, and we can also learn by teaching. True understanding only comes when we combine all these elements together. That is when the real magic starts to happen.

Question: What is something you've learned in the past that you really would like to understand?

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Links:

What is The Year of Magical Learning? An Introduction

YOML Podcast Discussion - On Becoming Babywise

YOML Bookstore - On Becoming Babywise: Giving your infant the gift of nighttime sleep by Dr. Robert Bucknam and co-author Gary Ezzo